The Most Joyous Day!

I can't believe the time has come where I am actually writing this post! We are thrilled to share that we have a beautiful baby boy waiting for us in Seoul, South Korea!! We cannot share his picture online until we actually have him in our arms...oh how I wish we could! But let me just tell you, he is ADORABLE! He has a head full of dark hair and chubby cheeks, and I cannot wait to get my hands on him! Our sweet boy is just 5 months old...born on June 14, 2012...so he and Levi are just a year apart!

Wednesday, November 28, 2012 was the most joyous day in this journey so far. The day we were matched with our son. We are amazed that we only waited just over 3 months. What a blessing that is in itself! The day had been going on just like any other. My sweet friend, Brooke, had been over to visit with her sweet girl they just brought home from China, and we'd had the best visit. She returned home, I'd picked up Brody from school, and Brent was still at work. I had just fixed the boys a snack (thank goodness they were occupied!) when my phone rang. When I picked it up and saw the Dillon # on the screen, my stomach did a flip flop. I quickly brushed that thought aside and just assumed they were calling about something else. After all, we had not even hit that 4 month mark yet! But when I answered, and our sweet social worker on the other end asked if I was busy and if this was a good time to talk, I knew. She told me that she had a baby boy she wanted to talk to me about...and I think I squealed a few times :) I then remember running around grabbing a pen and a sheet of paper, and I ran to sit at one of the desks in the boys' room (not sure why I went in there...lol). My heart was pounding, and I just couldn't believe this was it! When I told her that Yes this was a good time and Yes we wanted to hear more about him, she proceeded to give me a few small details about our boy. Just his basic facts - age, weight, health, etc. She then asked me to call Brent, give him the information I had, and for us to discuss whether or not we were interested in viewing his complete file. Of course we were interested!! I called Brent at work, and after I finally convinced him that yes I was serious, and no I wasn't kidding, he said he would leave work early and come home so we could view the file together. So, then I had to wait for about twenty minutes for Brent to get home. I paced the hallway, jumped up and down a few times, squealed with excitement, said a million little prayers of thanks, tried to calm my pounding heart, snapped a couple quick pictures me and Beckett sitting on the rug (the other two were still snacking), and paced some more.

Thankfully the email didn't come through until Brent was home, or I don't know if I'd have been able to refrain from peeking. But within two minutes of him walking through the door, the email popped up. We got the boys settled with a movie, and we went back to our bedroom with the laptop to view our little one's file. Brent, being the level-headed, patient, and practical one, wanted us to read through his entire file before we viewed his picture.

It was so unbelievably surreal. This was our boys story. We read his Korean name and learned that it means Brilliant Dawn. We saw that he was born weighing 6.2 pounds on June 14, in the afternoon...a Thursday. We were in the throws of completing that tedious never-ending application 2 during that time. My labor of love :) We learned his story, about his birth mom and why she had to give him up. I had tears in my eyes as I thought about what a joyous occasion it was for us...but what a devastating time it must be for her. I'll never ever be able to express my gratitude to that woman for choosing life for that sweet boy. Her boy. Our boy. We went on to read more about his health history, his stats at each months checkup, and about the amazing foster family who is taking care of him until we can bring him home. When we finished reading his file, and knew we felt good about proceeding, Brent opened up the document containing his pictures.

And there he was. Our son. With his round face and his thick crazy hair and his fat little feet. And those perfect little dark eyes staring back at us, begging to be wanted and included and loved. Needing to be somebody's son. We never had any doubts really. This was our baby. We had his file reviewed by a medical professional the next day as they ask you to, and then I put in the call to our social worker letting her know we were accepting!!

It all happened so quick, and I'm just so grateful God allowed to us to see him right here at Christmas time. I'm so thankful the wait was short (even though I do know the real wait is just beginning). We are still being told approximately a year to wait for travel. I know it will be so hard, but it will help being able to look forward to monthly pictures and updates. And we will have fun gathering up a care package to send to him each month.

We are praying you home, sweet boy!!! We hope it's very soon!

{{I've included a few pics...the 2 of Beckett and I while I was waiting for that email to come through and one of our first official pic of the 6 of us (I've blurred his little face for legal reasons.) . }}

Full Hearts

Our hearts are full. We have loved having Brent and Brody home a few extra days, and we finished out our holiday weekend with a relaxing (but fun!) Saturday at home. I don't think we changed out of our pjs until late afternoon. That kind of good! We spent the day eating homemade party mix, watching Christmas shows, putting up our trees, decorating, baking cookies, cleaning, working in the yard, and cooking dinner for Pawpaw since Mimi is out of town. All while listening to Country Christmas on Pandora ! :) One funny little thing to mention. Brody told us he wanted the tree in their room to be a Jesus tree, so he was gathering the appropriate ornaments - a nativity ornament, a scripture ornament, a Jesus Loves Me ornament, a little star, a nail ornament to represent the crucifixion...and a little Rudolph ornament. When I asked him why he picked the Rudolph, his reply was very matter-of-fact. "Because he led the way the night Jesus was born!" :) Love that boy. We just need to brush up on our Christmas Story a bit. ;)

Now that Thanksgiving is over, we are all in the Christmas Spirit! Bring on December!

Gobble Gobble

I can't even begin to list all of the things we are thankful for. We are blessed beyond measure, and we deserve none of it. We had a busy, but fun, Thanksgiving this year! Here are a few photos from our day :)

God's Grace

I'm a worrier. Always have been, probably always will be. I certainly wish I wasn't. The Bible even tells us not to worry! It's something I struggle with daily.

Once we made our adoption news public, and I began posting about it, I started to worry that people wouldn't see my true intentions. The very last thing I would want is for someone to think I was bragging about us adopting. Or that I came across as though I felt we were such great people for "stepping out in faith" and following God's calling for our lives right now. Because I'm not. And I certainly don't. There have been so many times that I've said no to The Lord when I felt him nudging me to step out of my comfort zone. Whether it be witnessing to someone or teaching a class or speaking in front of a group or going on a certain mission trip. And SO MANY more things. Things I struggle with daily. I also know that there will be many more times I selfishly make excuses and say no. We are vile sinners, and we are not even worthy of being able to blessed by this crazy amazing journey of adoption. But because of God's persistence, this time we said Yes. It wasn't an easy yes. True, we have always thought adoption was amazing. We saw it as a true example of God's saving Grace - We are lost and hopeless, and if we trust in Him, He welcomes us in as His own. But we also saw adoption as something that was awesome for "those people that can do it". We questioned and made excuses in so many ways - We want to, but we have three small children already! We think it's great, but we don't have that much money just sitting in the bank! We'd love to, but our house isn't big enough! Then, we finally started listening instead of arguing, and God was just saying Trust Me...Trust Me...Trust Me. So that's what we are doing. And now we are so excited about the little one that we pray will be our new child! We are excited and amazed, but we still worry. We constantly wonder if we are going to be adequate in parenting this child. Will we be able to balance it all? But the Lord tells us, "...My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in weakness...". Praise God for that, right?! :)

And that's why I write about our journey. Please know that I don't do it for attention. I do it for us. So we can look back at it and remember these details and feelings. And I do it for our child. So he will know how prayed for and wanted and very much loved he has been from the very beginning. And I do it to update our friends and family who are so faithfully praying for this journey. And I do it so that maybe I can encourage even just one family who is considering adoption, to step forward and say Yes. That maybe the Lord could use our story to somehow be that little nudge a family needs. I don't necessarily think every family is called to adopt a child. He uses us in so many ways to follow His command to defend the fatherless. Whether it be sponsoring a child, or helping out an adoptive family, or being a prayer warrior for orphans, or anything!

This journey has just been such a huge blessing for us already, and I know it's just beginning. I just want to share it!

Waiting {3 Months}

~Dear Baby L,
Here we are, another month closer to being matched with you! We are so excited to be getting closer to that 4-6 month range! We are praying that God is covering you in His love and protection, as we know He is being faithful to renew our patience and endurance. We dream of the day we are able to find out more about you. We are so thankful for the gift of life...for your life. When God formed you, He knew that we would receive the blessing of being your family. And oh what a blessing it will be! We know he has big plans for you , and we can't wait to witness it first hand! We love you much, sweet child!
Mommy~

It is with much excitement that we celebrate 3 months on Dillon International's wait list for a baby from South Korea! We are now 6 months into the whole process...crazy that its been that long since we sent in our first application! And what a blessing it's been.

While we are thrilled to be crossing another month of waiting off of our list, I've been overwhelmed with a mix of emotions lately. I've been on a high to hear about several families from our agency receiving their referral right around 4 months on the wait list. It's quite the rush to know that we are nearing that point. And while I'm trying to not set expectations for when that call will come, it is refreshing to think about and be encouraged by how far we've come. 3 months down, hopefully not many more to go! Amidst the excitement, I received our Waiting Families letter via email this week. While they did say that they expect referrals to continue to come in at a steady pace through the end of the year, they are unsure of what that trend will look like after that. Due to some new laws that have been passed in S Korea regarding international adoption, there have been some delays and unknowns. It also appears that the wait time from referral to travel may be lengthening. It's already unbearably long at a year or so.

Please join me in praying for adoptions in South Korea! Pray that they will get the details of these new laws ironed out so that these children can be united with their forever families as quickly as possible. Pray that the officials and lawyers over there will keep the best interest of these babies in mind as they process each case. Pray that God will intercede and speed up a process that just takes entirely too long. I know He hears our cries!

Veteran's Day Parade

We couldn't be happier with the school we chose for Brody. He loves his teacher, his friends, and is doing so well. All A's on his first report card, and his favorite subject is PE!

His school had their own little Veteran's Day parade this week, and it was so much fun!

Finding a balance.

You know all those times in life, especially as a parent, when you have to try to find that perfect balance? The balance between mom and wife. The balance between giving your spouse and kids your best self and giving yourself your best self. The balance between your job and your home life. Well, lately I've found myself constantly trying to find a balance. I feel like I'm straddling two worlds. There's that part of me who is excitedly crossing the days off of my calendar. Praying for these months to pass quickly so that we can be matched with our sweet baby and begin working to bring him home. Knowing that my baby is growing up without us, full aware that we are missing out on that first smile and that first giggle and his first bath. We won't be there for his first Christmas, or even his first birthday. It stinks to know that I'm not there when he cries out, and I'm not there to rock him to sleep, and I'm not there when he is afraid. And part of me wishes we could just fast forward to the day our little one is placed in our arms so that we can start making up for that lost time.

But then there's that other part of me. That part that knows that I have three amazing little boys here at home. Three little ones who are growing and changing every day, and if given the opportunity I would pause time and keep them this way forever. Even just a few months from now, they'll be different. Levi probably won't be saying "Thank you baby" every time he hands me something, and Beckett won't be dancing around and singing every time he uses the potty because he so proud of himself for being a big boy, and Brody won't be gearing up for soccer every week and looking at me with that huge grin when he scores. Yes, they'll be doing new things that are just as wonderful. But I don't want to wish today away. Because today is wonderful, too. I don't want to look back with regret that I was so busy looking forward, I forgot to be present.

So, that's where I am right now. Trying to enjoy every minute with my three boys, while praying that God will work this adoption out in His perfect timing. Believing with all my heart that God is using this time while we are waiting to grow us and strengthen us as a family, so that we are just the family that our new little one needs when he comes home.