{Today}

Today, I was tired. It was a good kind of tired . . . I've been keeping a friend's sweet baby boy all week. But still, I was tired. When evening came, my new little buddy had gone home, it was just me and my boys, and they were begging me to do something really fun. I just wanted to prop my feet up and be lazy for a bit. You know how it is. Sometimes I just don't feel like being creative enough to build a fort out of Lincoln Logs or energetic enough to play cops and robbers.

It was 75 degrees outside . . . in the middle of January . . . so I knew we couldn't pass up the opportunity to get out of the house. So, we slipped on our shoes, left Brent to stay with Levi, and went for a walk in the woods behind our house. These boys love an adventure in the woods.

We walked on logs.

And Brody had fun playing photographer for a while.

(That's Brody's duck call in my hand. He thought just maybe we'd see a duck he'd need to work in a little closer...)

I bet they played on this branch for ten minutes. Who knew what fun awaited us in those woods behind our house.

We were only out there for about twenty minutes, but to these guys, it was fascinating. And it took no excessive thinking or energy on my part. Success.

Today, I also did a lot of thinking about how this is the last few weeks I'll spend with this little boy as a four year old.

The little tiny boy with the head full of dark hair that they handed to me on that Sunday afternoon in February. "Here's your son," they told me.

The baby boy in the snuggly pajamas who taught me how to be a mama. Who taught me what selfless love is really all about.

When they handed him to me, the world became a much more beautiful, much scarier, much more wonderful place. Because I had a son to share it all with. To protect and keep safe. To love.

That contagious little smile had me from the very beginning. This boy lights up the world everywhere he goes. He is stubborn and independent, but I pray that God uses those attributes to do something big one day. I pray that he has an incredible passion for Christ, above everything else.

I'm not normally one to get sad or emotional over birthdays. Afterall, they are celebrations! But, going from four to five seems like a big milestone. It's a step from toddlerhood to boyhood. My firstborn will go to school this year. He will start to need me less and less.
But we will celebrate him big in a few weeks. Celebrate the one who first made me a mom.
And he has two little brothers who think he hung the moon. One of which is just like having him as an infant all over again. I think Levi is Brody's twin, just four years later.
In the meantime, I'm going to take in everything I can of him being four.