I made it to birthday number thirty-three. My body aches more and the hair turns a
little grayer with each passing year.
Three of our boys are here at home with us this year. Next year my birthday should include our
fourth son. We will have five guys and
one lady in the house. Laura is one
tough woman to deal with all of us.
I am getting anxious and nervous about taking custody of
Lennox. We will have waited what seems
like forever for that moment to make him part of our family. I am looking forward to that day and dreading
it also. I know it sounds bad to dread
the day that you take custody of your son.
I will explain myself. I wished
we could take custody of him and live happily from that moment on. Lennox’s foster family, Lennox, and our family
will all be affected in different ways.
When we take custody, Lennox’s foster family will experience
grief and loss of a child they have raised since he was two months old. They took on the responsibility of caring for
him knowing that he would go to live with another family. I cannot fathom or describe the selfless love
these people have shown Lennox. I admire
and respect them more than they could ever imagine. They don’t know if they will ever see or hear
from him after custody. To love and care
for someone knowing the outcome demands the highest respect. They will need
special prayers for comfort and peace to know that Lennox is in a loving and
caring environment.
When we take custody, Lennox will lose the only family he
has ever known. He will lose his Omma
and Appa, the two people that have loved and cared for him for almost two
years. Lennox will grieve the loss of
his only known family. He will cry for
them and not understand what is going on. He will have lost more in his two years of life than most of us have as adults. His birth family, his orphanage caretakers, his foster family, his birth country, and on and on. He has been told about his new family, but I am not sure how much he
will understand. I can’t understand the
pain he will be going through. All we
can do is comfort him. It will be
painful to watch him cry for his foster family.
When we take custody, the first few days for us with Lennox
will be survival. We will just be trying
to make him happy and communicate the best we can. We will need to bond as early as we can. We will have to teach him that we are mommy
and daddy. Our parenting styles will
differ a little bit with Lennox than our bio kids. Our bio kids understand who mommy and daddy
are and who takes care of them. Lennox
will have to learn who will meet his needs.
We will all adjust as time goes on.
The first few weeks or months we are all home will be very
low key. We will have to make sure
Lennox adjusts to his new surroundings, and most importantly, knows who his
family is. I will apologize now if we do
not let you hold or hug Lennox the first time you see him (high fives, waves,
and smiles are welcome!). We are not trying
to be mean. The last time someone played with him and hugged him, they (meaning
us) took him from his foster family. He
has to gain trust in us. He has to know
that we will always be there and come back for him. He will most likely throw fits that make you
think we can’t control our child. I would
throw fits too if I couldn’t communicate in some strange land with strange new
people. Memories will trigger sadness
and grief for him. I ask that you be patient with us because we will all, our boys included, be
learning as we go.
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